Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
