I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
