Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
