HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
