What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
