when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
