I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sobbing to NWA
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
