I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
