sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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