he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
