I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
