i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
