dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just found a bag of teeth...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
