She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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