It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
