Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
