But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize