We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
