You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
