I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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