Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize