Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
