Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
