Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Floor bacon is actually really good
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
