I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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