Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Randomize
