i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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