Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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