at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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