This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
