Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
