I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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