Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
