well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
