I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
