i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
