vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
