So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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