Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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