I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
