Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
