woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize