what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
