He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
