After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
