At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The air taste purple.
Randomize