i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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