seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
