once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
