I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am one with the molecules
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
