I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
