He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize