brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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