we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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