is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
