Non-Jews are for practice
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
