His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
