google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
