I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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