bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
