ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
