Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
