I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize